Return of the Blogger Block!

Oh no! It's happened again!

It's been a whole month since you've last heard from me on here! And this all comes down to the fact that my brain machine isn't cooperating! I'm finding it so hard to gather inspiration to write a blog post! What's wrong with me? I love writing! It's one of my favorite things to do in my spare time! So blogging every week should be a breeze right? Well, no! Ughhh! It's so frustrating, when all you want to do is write and nothing comes out!
I really want to start blogging more! I find it so therapeutic and it really seems to help my anxiety.
So here's to getting back to blogging! Cheers... 

Even though the tumble weeds may be gathering up over here, I have been pretty active on my Youtube channel. Making videos is another thing I love to do in my spare time! I guess its just a visual version of my blog. I have a few videos in the mix so make sure to head over and subscribe so you don't miss out on them!

Hmm what else has been happening?
 Oh here's something! Out of the blue I decided to hop on the band wagon and start watching American Horror Story. I don't know why It's taken me this long to start watching it, I mean it's a combination of my two favorite things, horror and Evan Peters. I've watched season 1 and 4, and am starting season 2 now.(I know, weird order)
I'm not sure how I feel about it? It's good, and some parts definitely reminded me of something out of a Stanley Kubrick film which I loved! It's very dark, which I like, but sometimes I feel like they take it a bit too far. I don't know, maybe that's my anxiety talking. I definitely have enjoyed the two seasons I've seen so far, and if you have some spare time I'd recommend giving it a watch.
I'm thinking of doing a review of seasons 1-5 on my Youtube channel, or even on here, once I've watched them all. We'll see?

Also one last thing! I have an instagram now! Well I've had it for ages just never shared it with anyone, so HERE it it! Go giz is a follow! <3

xx

Candy Yum Yum: Drugstore Dupe

Hello!

So, if you're a fan of the ever so famous Mac lipsticks, particularly Candy yum yum, you're in luck!

About a year ago, I took a trip to the UK, otherwise know as the land of insanely cheap makeup!
I'm sure to the people living over there It's not that cheap, but try coming over here! Wowee, the makeup is expensive! Even from the drugstore!
 I went on a bit of a rampage whilst I was over there, and came back with about half a suitcase full of makeup. So what Sarah? Get to the point! Okay, okay!

The other day I was snooping around my makeup collection, finding new things that could definitely use a bit more love. And there it was! The Barry M Lipstick in No. 52 'Shocking Pink'!
 So what? you may ask. Well, this particular Barry M lipstick happens to be the spitting image of Mac's much pricier Candy Yum Yum. 

This lipstick is amazing! Not only is the colour spot on, but it's also matte like Candy yum yum, the staying power is just as good, and it's only a fraction of the price. So If you're into your Mac Lippies, or Barbie Pinks, I'd highly recommend you try this out! 

Thank me later.

Mac- 'Candy Yum Yum

Barry M- No. 52 'Shocking Pink'

xx

Schwarzkoph Live Colour Ultra Brights: Review

Hello everyone,

A while ago on my blog I wrote THIS post. Hoping that one day I'd finally pluck up the courage to dye my hair a wild, eye catching colour! Well, that day has come!

As many of you might know, I have blue hair! 

I get a lot of questions about my sonic inspired locks, so I thought I'd write a blog post answering your questions.

A few months ago, I was feeling quite bored with my current hairstyle. So I thought, why not change it up? I'm not entirely sure what made me jump straight to blue hair? I guess I was feeling adventurous.

The dye I used was the 'Schwarzkoph Live Colour Ultra Brights' in 'Electric Blue'. It's an absolutly stunning colour! The only downside, is it took 6 boxes of dye just to cover the lower ends of my hair. Now admididly my hair is quite thick, but 6 boxes!? Luckily because the end result was so amazing, I let that slide.

My first intention was to dye my whole head blue, but after some traumatic experiences with really bad re-growth, I thought I'd best stick to just the ends. I applied the dye all over the ends of my hair, making sure it was completely saturated.

 Also I should add that I had slightly pre-lightened the ends of my hair in preparation. I'll leave a picture below so you can see how light it was.

 I left the color on for approximately 30 minutes. After this time I washed and dried my hair, and viola! Blueness!

Before: 

 After:

I've really grown attached to my blue hair, so I think I'll keep it for a little while longer.

If you're thinking of dying your hair a new crazy colour, I'd highly recommend the 'Schwarzkoph Live Colour Ultra Brights'. Just a few warnings. 

1. It stains EVERYTHING! Be careful!

 2. Despite the fact it's advertised as a semi permanent 'wash in wash out', it does not wash out! So just know, you'll be stuck with it for a little while. 

3. I find that sometimes when I wake up and I've been sweating through the night, some of the dye transfers onto my neck. But that's no biggie as normal face cleanser washes it straight off. 

Besides that, I love it! Each box cost me 6 New Zealand dollars, so it's a much cheaper alternative to the hair dressers if you're on a budget. 

I hope this answered some of your questions. As usual, if you have any more burning questions leave them in the comments below.

 And a bonus photo, where I'm channeling my inner super villain!

xx

Dealing with Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Hello,

Today's blog post is a bit different. Slightly on the serious side. But I hope it's able to help you in some way.

First, I'd like to let you know that this is a very personal thing for me to be writing about, but I'm choosing to write it for anyone out there who is suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. On the other hand, if you're reading this to learn more about people who suffer with panic attacks, I hope this helps you to understand what they're going through and how you can show your support.

Anxiety is a horrible emotion to feel! It affects everyone differently, and there are different levels of anxiety in all of us, ranging from 'I'm nervous about a test I have tomorrow' to 'Help me I'm in danger I think I'm going to die'. When we're stressed our anxiety is heightened and some of us are a lot more sensitive to it. Extremely high levels of anxiety, in a lot of people, can lead to panic attacks, which are not very nice.

I've been suffering with Anxiety and Panic attacks for about 10 years, but it wasn't until I turned 18 that I had my first panic attack. 

I'm writing this, to help those of you that are struggling, feel alone, are looking for advice, or just need a person to relate to.

I know sometimes It's so easy to feel alone. So many people don't understand what its really like to live with panic attacks. Even after hours of explaining, unless someone has been through a panic attack, they're never fully going to understand. But on the flip side, there are so many people, like me, who do knew what it's like. Since I've told people about my anxiety, I've met so many people going through the same thing which I was surprised about. You're never alone in this world.

So, what is a panic attack you ask? well, let me explain,

A Panic attack is a sudden feeling of dread or inevitable danger. Your 'Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in and Adrenaline is released throughout your body to prepare yourself for 'fight or flight'. This dates back to the caveman times, where a caveman would be approached by a wild animal, and he could either choose to fight the wild animal or run away. Obviously we're not going to be approached by wild animals in this day and age, but our 'fight or flight' is still there, ready to prepare us for a dangerous situation. Our 'fight or flight' is triggered by our Sympathetic Nervous System.

 The Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in when we are approached with a dangerous situation such as, being thrown into a lion enclose at a zoo or even being scared by a movie. Although if you suffer with extreme anxiety, your Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in whenever it feels like it.

Panic attacks come quickly and violently, lasting anywhere between 5 to 25 minutes. Sometimes it can feel a lot longer than just 20 minutes, but this is usually you just experiencing one panic attack after another, after another, which is just as unpleasant.

When you're having a full blown panic attack, it can cause a number of different physical and emotional symptoms, such as:

Heart Palpitations

Chest Pain

Trembling or Shaking

Ringing in your ears

Numbing or tingling in hands and feet

Hot or Cold Flushes

Feeling nauseous

Feelings and thoughts of absolute terror

Fear of dying, loosing control, or going crazy

As well as Panic attacks coming on for no reason, Panic attacks can also be triggered by certain things and places. For example, if one day you have a panic attack at a train station or while watching a certain movie, your brain will store that information and now see being at a train station or watching that movie as a dangerous situation, thus making your 'fight or flight' kick in preparing your body to fight the situation or run away. The only problem is, you're not actually in any danger. The brain is very clever! And all it's doing is trying to protect you. I like to remember this when I start to feel a bit anxious.

When my anxiety was at It's worse I would always turn down opportunity's, as I was terrified that I'd panic. And It's not because I didn't want to go, I just physically could put myself in any situation where I thought I would panic. More recently, my anxiety has eased up enough for me to approach some of these situations without even thinking twice about it. I've found that I only start to panic if I'm in a situation where I'm unable to leave or get out quickly.  

One thing I wish more people understood, is that people who suffer with anxiety DON'T want to feel this way. We want to be normal! We wish that we could say "I don't worry about anyting, besides the normal things". After a panic attack, as well as feeling drained and emotinal, I also feel angry. Angry that I can't contol it, angry that I'm not like other people, and angry that not everyone understands.

Now from my experience, here are a few things that help me deal with my anxiety.

When I'm actually having a panic attack, the best thing that helps me is getting out of the situation as fast as possible. For so long I would never do this, as I was too embarrassed and never knew how to explain it to people. But it is honestly one of the best ways to keep your panic from spiraling.

As well as getting away, I also like to think happy thoughts. As cliche as that sounds you want to replace all of the thoughts of dread and terror with something happy and joyful. Putting on headphones and listening to a playlist of your favorite songs can also help a lot, so be sure to make a playlist on your phone so that you have it ready. 

When you're having a panic attack, adrenaline is being pumped throughout your body, so while your muscles are pumped you should do some form of exercise to use the Adrenalin. 

If you're an animal person, I'd suggest grabbing the closest animal to you whether that be your own pet, a animal at a friends house etc. As I find stroking and just being loved and comforted by an animal can instantly calm me down.

Have someone reassure you that everything is okay, unless you'd cope better being left alone. 

And obviously deep, slow breathing is a must!

As for long term treatment, There are a number of different things you can do, such as:

Therapy

Support groups

Medication

Coping Techniques

Changing the way you think/your outlook on life

Meditation

Going to church

I kept my anxiety a secret for a long time, which was a mistake. After I told my mum we sought help straight away. We decided it would be best to get me on some kind of medication to calm me down, and also look into some therapy.

 Now I'm not going to lie, the medication side of things was a long and painful process. I can't even tell you the number of different medications I've been put on; But that's the name of the game. 

No one is the same, and everyone reacts to medication differently. I've now been on the same medication for about six months and everything is going great. I definitely don't have as much panic attacks as as I was having, and my generalized anxiety isn't as strong as it once was. It's still there, but it's manageable; most of the time. 

As for the other forms of treatment, it just depends on the person really. 

Although I will say changing the way you think can have a huge impact on the way you feel. For example:

1. A panic attack is just your brain trying to keep you safe.

2. Look around, are you REALLY in danger?

3. You've felt anxious here before and nothing bad happened.

4. I'm surrounded by people who love and want to protect me. Nothing bad is going to happen.

5.You're a strong, kick ass person who isn't afraid of anything!

 Those are just a few things I like to keep in the back of my mind.

Help! How do I help someone who suffers from panic attacks?

This is a bit of a tricky question, only because everyone is different when it comes to their need and wants whilst having a panic attack. But I'll try my best. 

1. DO NOT FREAK OUT! I REPEAT DO NOT FREAK OUT! If someone is having a panic attack and you start yelling and squealing it's hardly gong to make them feel better, in fact it will most likely make them feel worse.

2. Don't get annoyed with them. Remember they can't control it. So if you're at the movies and you have to leave half way through don't show any disappointment, just continue to support them.

3. Answer Questions. There is a possibility that they're going to need some reassurance that everything is okay. No matter how many or how ridiculous the questions are, be patient and answer them.

4. Always ask if they need or want anything. They may not want you to do anything, in fact some people prefer to be left alone. So always ask, and don't make assumptions.

Wow! So I think I managed to cover everything. If not, be sure to leave any comments and questions you have below. 

I really do hope that this has helped some of you, and remember...

You are never alone, and there is always a way out. Don't let your anxiety control the way you think or live, just go out and live your life the way you want to live it!

That's all for me today! 

I hope you're all well, and please enjoy the rest of your day! <3

A photographers representation of anxiety feels like. He's got it pretty spot on to be fair.

xx

Having a Peice of Home with Me

Hello Everyone!

You may or may not have noticed that I've been some what absent from my blog the past few months. 

Ooops, sorry! 

This is because we had my Nan over from the UK!

 If you weren't aware, I was born in the UK but now live in New Zealand. And because it's not the cheapest trip 'to and from', the time and memories I do have with my family are the most meaningful to me.

My Nan came over in December in preparation for my older sisters wedding on new years eve. It was all a very exciting time as you can imagine, but unfortunately that meant I barely had any time to sit down at my computer and write a blog post. But now that I'm here let me tell you all about it.

So first of course, my Nan. I still cant believe she flew half way across the world BY HERSELF to be here! She is amazing! I'm so glad she stayed as long as she did because the quality time we spent together was so important to me. Although she was here for a whole month, the time just flew by! I feel like there was so much more I wanted to show her, do with her, talk to her about; But maybe that will encourage me to start saving for a plane ticket of my own. Hmmm? 

The things we did do together though were lovely. Not only did we make icing flowers for my sister wedding cake, but she taught me how to cross stitch; Side note it's super relaxing! I made my first ever Christmas Cake with her, And also just the quality time we spent together, pottering around was nice.

Next, was the wedding! It was the most magical night, filled with love, and tears, and laughter. So many amazing memories were made that night, all of which I'll cherish forever. It's a night I'll remember for a long time, Except for the hours between 10pm to 12am. Yeah, those I'm going to have trouble remembering. ;)

So that's what has been happening if my life recently.

Again, I'm sorry the large gaps between blog posts, But I'm back now and ready to write until my heart's content.

xx

Doggie Walkin'

Hey Guys!

Let's talk about this week...

My anxiety has been A GIANT PAIN IN THE ASS!

It can be really crappy sometimes because you feel like you've finally defeated it, and then BAM! It comes and smacks you across the back of the head. sigh.

One thing I like to do when I'm feeling a bit uneasy, is take the dogs to our local dog park. It's such a beautiful place to walk around and clear your head, plus as much as I don't like to admit it, a bit of light exercise really helps to keep anxiety and panic at bay.

I just wanted to make this post so If it's crappy weather or I'm super busy I can just flick through these pictures to calm my farm ;)

So I hope you enjoy these photos as well <3

xx

Movie Review: The Shining

Heeeere's Johnny!

Yet another Stanley Kubrick movie that I've only just watched. Seriously, seriously late to the band wagon with this one! 

Stanley Kubrick's cold and frightening 'The Shining' definitely stands out from any other horror movie of it's time. Also an unforgettable performance by Jack Nicholson as the tortured soul of Jack Torrance. You feel like you're becoming as mad as Jack while watching, building up cabin fever and fear in a mixture of nauseous scenes. The movies follows a married couple with a small son who are employed to look after a resort hotel high in the Colorado mountains. Despite being warned about the tragedy that occurred during the winter of 1970, they accept the job. As a result they are sole occupants of the resort for the entire winter. Settling into their routine, Danny and Wendy explore the hotel, inside and out, while jack sets up shop in the cavernous lounge. As Danny starts to have disturbing and graphic visions of the past and a blocked Jack starts showing strange and violent behavior, Wendy soon discovers what Jack has really been doing in his study all day, and what the hotel has done to Jack. 

Like many other Stanley Kubrick movies, this movie isn't for the fainthearted. It contains graphic and slightly 'strange' scenes. It's definitely what you would call, a very artsy movie! 

The unhurried pace, Extended dialogue scenes and those sudden, sinister inter-titles("1 Month later" "4pm") contribute to the feeling of unease throughout the film. 

The Shining is definitely one of my favorite 'horror' movies! I just personally love how strange and sinister it is. And the cinematography is incredible! Giving the impression of momentum throughout out the entire movie. 

Now, I'm going to say something which a lot of people will probably disagree with, but as much as I LOVE Stephen King, I actually enjoyed the movie better than the book. Please don't hate me.

xx